is a good indicator of how off my mental state has been since the concussion. It's an American beautyberry- a plant I snatched up with delight at the last plant swap. I'd neglected to actually put it in the ground so it was waiting for cooler weather again. I should have been devastated (or at least sad, disappointed?) to find it wilted and looking dead after the heat wave we had, when I forgot to water most of my outdoor potted plants. I looked at its folded dry leaves and felt nothing. I didn't care. I wondered if I would ever care about plants and gardening again.
But I watered it, and all the other things, and most of them revived- my ginger mint is putting up a few new leaves again, the geraniums pulled through. Chives appear to be completely dead, but that one is no biggie- easy to start or buy more in spring. The beautyberry revived! It put out a lot of new leaves and looks good as ever now.
Weird thing is, I don't feel thrilled about this. I should be glad. I'm pleased, but in a way that feels remote. It's just such an odd thing, to not care much about what was once my passion.
Another sad aspect of this is, I looked back at what else I brought home from that plant swap. Most of them didn't make it. The mountain mint, sweetspire, St. John's wort, aster, bergamot and shining sumac are all dead. I am disappointed about the sumac. The rosemary is looking pretty terrible- most of it ended up afflicted by some insect and I cut it back and just a few stems are regrowing. I am not sure about the elephant's food and the sedum- will have to look next time I'm outside. And of the houseplants, I still only have the Haworthia. But do I feel sad about all this? No, just rather- indifferent. Which in itself is sad.
No comments:
Post a Comment